Mummy, I’m not a baby anymore

  Today (October 3rd 2016) my three year old son walked up to me in the kitchen and shattered my heart. “Mummy” I heard. The word I hear perhaps two thousand times a day and am ashamed to tell you makes me flinch more times than not. I was busily tidying up the debris from […]

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Soft play: The Satanic cesspit of despair

  It was on Friday, at around 10am, as I sat crossed legged trying not to show the room my granny knickers, on the PVC floor, wearing odd socks, in a tiny sweaty square next to a tinier ball pool watching my son take part in some sort of world record for how many balls […]

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The soul destroying struggle of “please don’t wake your baby brother up”.

  Every single morning starts the same. 4am. And yes we have black out blinds, and yes we have a sodding Gro-clock, and yes we have tried later bedtimes, earlier bedtimes, no naps, naps, more food, less food. The only thing we haven’t tried at this point is a tranquilliser gun, but if they manufactured […]

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The Tiny Shoe

  It’s hard to put my finger on the moment that we knew but I think it all came down to a tiny little shoe   Oh the things that we’ll do the people that we’ll see once it resumes to just being little old you and little old me   we can have actual […]

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Why I won’t be piercing my sons’ ears

Firstly, I don’t have a licence to pierce shit. I am presuming you need a licence for that sort of ting – not just one of your mum’s old earrings, a flame and a cork. Katie Price is ‘under’ metaphorical ‘fire’ for posting a pic of her child with pierced ears (18 months, the child and the […]

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