You won’t be like Binky … beware ‘reality’ TV mummy diaries

  I love to escape into the scripted reality world of ‘Made in Chelsea’, watching young, nubile, supermodel types supping champagne whilst I shove fistfuls of space invaders into my gob and neck merlot out of a tumbler. It’s pure escapism, so far removed from my life as a stay at home mum. And I […]

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Motherhood – not quite what it says on the baking tin

  About six months ago or more I bought a Peppa Pig cup cake pack from T’co-op. I saw it, in between the cheese aisle and the wine aisle and I had a vision: There was me in my kitchen, two ankle biters next to me on cute stools. We were all wearing matching novelty […]

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The Tiger Who Came To The Walk In Centre

  It is a truth universally acknowledged that when your child finally sleeps the sort of hours you have dreamed about for years, you won’t sleep a wink and will be utterly convinced something catastrophic must be wrong which will result in a call to NHS 111. My son (three) just hasn’t seemed right for […]

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To the kids being bullied – One Day

  I know that today the bullies matter. I know that right now you can’t see anything else. I know that you think that all you are is a kid being bullied and all they are – are bullies. One day your life won’t be about school. One day you’ll venture so much further than […]

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Good Lord, he really is a little shit isn’t he darling?

  You could never have met anyone on this planet more desperate, more excited and more suited to be a grandparent than my mother. She had me, her perfect only child, obviously, and then began her wait to become a grandma. She waited a long thirty years. I saw her disappointed face after every relationship went […]

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The mum I’ll never be and the wasp

Yesterday I took my youngest son to the park. This for me is an achievement in itself. The fact that we were both washed, dressed and actually out of the house with the three dimensional people – I felt pretty pleased with myself. The sun was shining and I suspected it was the last day […]

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A plea… why I deserve to win best comic writer at the Mumsnet Blogging Awards

  Cue sad X Factor music … Ever since I was an odd looking little girl, all freckles, a lazy eye, an underbite and a gap in my front teeth large enough to fit a sherbet dip dab, I have dreamed about winning the Best Comic Writer category at the Mumsnet Blogging Awards. Ok… well […]

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The Mum Next Door

There is a mum next door you’ve caught sight of at dawn dragging the bins out at night dragging the kids out in the morn mostly you hear her and the little terrors she bred screaming, crying, cbeebies on incessantly the Gruffalo exhaustedly read and I can bet my tax credits on the fact that […]

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