Cats are a suitable substitute for children & other ways to make money writing

That’s right! I truly believe you should get a cat instead of IVF!

(or do I?)

Sometimes you have to take stock of your life. This blogging malarky is just not lucrative. There are far too many of us ‘Mummy’ bloggers, parent bloggers etc. It’s a saturated market. However – I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. After reading an article in the Daily Mail yesterday (well, I read the headline – I couldn’t be arsed to read the whole thing) I know where my destiny lies.

I will become a controversial Mum writer and mark my name in history as ‘Britain’s most hated woman’ after Katie Hopkins.

My plan is foolproof. First I will write an article that is sure to enrage the masses for no real reason other than notoriety and a large boost in my stats. So far my ideas are:

  • Breastfeeding is for losers
  • couples should only be allowed more than two children if they are a member of The National Trust.
  • Cesareans are cheating
  • Controlled crying builds self esteem
  • Stay at home parents just want to stay in bed all day and take off the state
  • Working parents are neglectful bastards
  • leaving children to fend for themselves makes great leaders (go to Magaluf for a fortnight).
  • Breastfeeding should be taught in prisons, to men

I’m sure more will come to me once I start.

In no time at all I am sure I will be called to be on Good Morning Britain or This Morning to sit along side another parent and battle it out! This will make me Instagram famous. I just need to remember to shout louder and bang home my point even if I don’t really believe it myself.

Soon the money will come rolling in.

Tune in next time for my first article “Male midwives are just perverts.

I just can’t wait for my new adventure!

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