Dear Brands : I am not the blogger you are looking for

See also “Why I’m a shit blogger”.

I love writing – but blogging – I’m not very good. I can’t play the game.

I don’t schedule posts.

I don’t write about current events.

I don’t know what a no follow link is.

I don’t read other blogs unless a title really shouts out to me.

I don’t work hard on getting views, likes or numbers (which is why they’re so low).

I don’t look at my stats.

I can’t do SEO – I can’t be bothered and I don’t understand it.

Now I get that there are ways of making money blogging and it would be lovely to get a slice of that action but I just can’t do it. It’s not me.

I did try – I did reviews (never was I paid for one). I didn’t realise I could ask for money to be honest. Writing them was just not very nice. I didn’t lie – but trying to think of 100 words on nipple balm was a stretch for me.

I would make a terrible sales woman.

So after much consideration I have decided to only write what I want and I certainly won’t be doing any PR on here. It’s just not me.

It’s a shame as only this week I was offered the chance to review a shoe shop and get free shoes for my FOUR children. Whoa Nelly! Where did the other two come from?

It would be lovely to make money out of this… but I hope money will come from my writing in the long run. I’m playing the long game.

Therefore I solemnly declare you will never see a sponsored post from me.

I feel better already.