Hello, it’s mum,
I was wondering if after all these hours you’d like to sleep?
or roll over?
they say Calpol’s supposed to heal ya
but you aint done much teething
Hello, can you hear me?
locked myself inside the bathroom just so I can have a weep
you’re so full of anger
I’ve forgotten how it felt before I became a giant teat
There’s such a difference
and a million smiles.
Hello from the mummy side,
you must have pooped a thousand times
and told me you’re hungry, and have a sore bum
but when I change you, you still seem to be glum.
Hello from the tired eyes
my brain is completely fried
so I’m sorry, you are, so full of gas
but can you just, not be, a pain in my ass
Hello, how are you?
It’s so typical of you to not like your jumparoo
I hope, you like the bouncer,
just wanted to take you out of that cot, where nothing ever happens
It’s no secret
that the both of us
are running out of wipes
So hello from the mother side,
you must have screamed a thousand times
and told me you’re tired of a bloated tum
but when I burp you, you still, seem to be glum.
Hello from the knackered eyes
said I gave up Gin but I lied
so I’m sorry, you’ve got me as your mum
but I’m afraid that I am the only one forever more…