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Mummy's Writing, Darling Posts

Beholden

All days he’s had a yogurt-propelling snotty nose and scrambled egg squelched between tiny sweaty toes. All of the screeches and screams tacky teething gels and nappy rash creams with all the go-to-fucking-sleep nights the fatigued and frazzled baby-Father fights and the live long days of exhaustion your long lost independent lives tantrums, and he-won’t-eat-his-bastard-food slights and you never wanted children anyway. But then there’s a moment isolated, suspended in your slack off Sunday where you see: with just one goofy, gapped grin the reflection in your next of kin it’s what you were both foraging for all the thirty plus years before and the cut-throat love throttles you like gobbling down a podgy gold watch and you see: for the first time this week his chimp-like rump his bitty belly portly and…

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Ten reasons why baby’s first Christmas is a bit crap

A baby is a Christmas miracle in itself – and it’s an absolute joy to have a new addition to the family. But get your hopes up for an amazing “baby’s first Christmas” and you may be a tad disappointed. Why? Well… 1/ Everyone knows it’s perfectly acceptable to pop open the Cava before midday on Christmas day. But on baby’s first Christmas – suddenly it’s frowned upon to guzzle prosecco with your smoked salmon blinis at 10am because you’re now the designated “responsible adult ‘parent of a tiny person’ person”. Gah. They don’t even give you any points for your sober nine months previous. 2/ Your new baby is still at the stage where they look like a misshapen butternut squash weebling in their door bouncer – and let’s face it…

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The Stay at Home Mum Christmas Party

It’s Christmas time. There’s no need to be afraid. At Christmas time – the workers of the world get all giddy. It’s a festive Salted Caramel coffee on the way in to the office. And look at Doreen! She’s rocking her Christmas tree light up dangly earrings! And Stan’s got his Christmas bauble jumper on – the maverick. The canteen are doing mulled wine (one glass mind) and mince pie lattices. Look at all those pigs in blankets. They’ve put tinsel around the fire exits! The halls have been buzzing since November with the count down to the Christmas break. The office is filled with the thrill of secret santa and you’re off to get inappropriately pissed at the Christmas lunch (four courses / steak house). And then they’re off their heads practically elated typing their…

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I am the back in the kitchen

I am the back in the kitchen  My mother was always in the kitchen peeling potatoes making gravy boiling vegetables washing up cleaning up ironing shirts me stood knee high staring at her back how earth shattering it is the dawning realisation that now I am the back in the kitchen not ignoring you my darlings and she wasn’t peeling potatoes nothing so minor she was caring providing feeding keeping our home a home I am the back in the kitchen now I understand why it was so turned from me and appreciate that back so much more not ignoring you my darlings  

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