Good Lord, he really is a little shit isn’t he darling?

  You could never have met anyone on this planet more desperate, more excited and more suited to be a grandparent than my mother. She had me, her perfect only child, obviously, and then began her wait to become a grandma. She waited a long thirty years. I saw her disappointed face after every relationship went […]

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Why Mums Can’t Diet

This morning I trundled my large arse off to play group with my youngest son. I only fully woke up about five minutes in when he smacked a tambourine off my right tit and started trying to choke himself on a mini maraca. I realised where I was and looked around the room at the […]

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Smelly Poos

Don’t whinge about your husband some people don’t have a husband or a boyfriend for that matter or friends even – to have a coffee with, and a natter some people are lonely and despair if he won’t fill the dishwasher, do you really care? You could be widowed, or too ugly for a man […]

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Don’t holiday with children – recalculating. The Journey, part 1.

  A holiday with my mother and my two children always begins the same: An arrangement to be picked up at a specific early time by mother, say 8am and a short text the night before to double check time and an assurance that the weekend will be an opportunity for me to relax. The […]

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The rules of ill – when you have children

The real problem with not being very well off is that you don’t have the money to separate yourself from the other sick people in your house – or as some like to call them – the family. It’s all about sharing – sharing without your consent. Sharing germs, sharing beds, sharing air, sharing bathrooms. You’re all sick, […]

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