Motherhood – not quite what it says on the baking tin

  About six months ago or more I bought a Peppa Pig cup cake pack from T’co-op. I saw it, in between the cheese aisle and the wine aisle and I had a vision: There was me in my kitchen, two ankle biters next to me on cute stools. We were all wearing matching novelty […]

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Why the mummy hangover is the worst hangover in the world

  It’s three o’clock in the morning and a man whispers into your ear the most erotic phrase known to a mum: “You promised you’d get up with them.” What? What the F… Where am I? What is that noise? Is that a recorder? and….and… a tambourine? Who gave them those? I will find them […]

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Beholden

  Beholden   All days he’s had a yogurt-propelling snotty nose and scrambled egg squelched between tiny sweaty toes. All of the screeches and screams tacky teething gels and nappy┬árash creams with all the go-to-fucking-sleep nights the fatigued and frazzled baby-Father fights and the live long days of exhaustion your long lost independent lives tantrums, […]

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