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Tag: pregnancy

You won’t be like Binky … beware ‘reality’ TV mummy diaries

I am a big fan of Binky and I love to escape into the scripted reality world of ‘Made in Chelsea’, watching young, nubile, supermodel types supping champagne whilst I shove fistfuls of space invaders into my gob and neck merlot out of a tumbler. It’s pure escapism, so far removed from my life as a stay at home mum. And I was thrilled to see that Binky is with child. Congratulations to her. However, something about it being on that show made me uneasy. The same uneasiness I get when I see adverts for Sam Faiers Mummy Diaries. The uneasy feeling is one of wanting to shout at anyone watching the programs who hasn’t experienced pregnancy and motherhood first hand: THIS IS NOT REAL!  Maybe people aren’t as…

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Do not feel any pressure to have an erotic labour

When I was twelve, at the puberty milestone (a stage of growing up, not the local pub) a lady came to our school to talk to us all about tampons. I can’t remember the speech she gave and as a lady in her thirties now I’m wondering how she stretched it out into a speech but I do remember the boxes of free tampons she handed out. I couldn’t hold mine as I had all my fingers in my ears, loudly humming the tune to Grange Hill. But I do remember seeing one and being absolutely petrified. As the lady told us calmly about how to use them I gave her a suspicious stare and told myself there aint no way in Hell anything like that was being inserted…

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The Tiny Shoe

  It’s hard to put my finger on the moment that we knew but I think it all came down to a tiny little shoe   Oh the things that we’ll do the people that we’ll see once it resumes to just being little old you and little old me   we can have actual adults around have grown up dinner parties without having to stop between courses to wipe those little arses   we can have a clean home i’ll bring in a ‘no shoes’ law no porridge, dribble and lego strewn across our floor   we can go to foreign places to couples only resorts we can lounge around on cruises not a single child friendly caravan thought   we can Kondo the shit out of life…

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