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The Teething Rap

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The Teething Rap

(Beatbox)

Got so many chew toys gonna call you Rover

when will this fresh teething Hell be over?

You scream all day

You look so glum

Gotta go figure it’s your mother fudging gums

Been tryin Calpol and all types of anaesthetic

Neurofen, granuals and a mild antiseptic

It don’t half hurt when you clamp down on my finger

and this lack of sleep is makin Mum a minger

I’m sorry you’re going through this oral Hell

Have some more of this ruddy teething gel

Current occupation is to dribble, chew and gnaw

your cheeks are red and my ears are so sore

so F#ck those incisors

F#ck those teeth

we ain’t gonna wail about what lies beneath

I can’t take much more

and I’ve got a horrible idea

first comes the flushed cheeks

next comes the diarrhoea

Trust.

 

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