The Tiny Shoe


It’s hard to put my finger

on the moment that we knew

but I think it all came down to

a tiny little shoe


Oh the things that we’ll do

the people that we’ll see

once it resumes to just being

little old you and little old me


we can have actual adults around

have grown up dinner parties

without having to stop between courses

to wipe those little arses


we can have a clean home

i’ll bring in a ‘no shoes’ law

no porridge, dribble and lego

strewn across our floor


we can go to foreign places

to couples only resorts

we can lounge around on cruises

not a single child friendly caravan thought


we can Kondo the shit out of life

be completely organised

we can be ruddy spontaneous

take long relaxing drives


we can eat our dinner in a fancy restaurant

like Sinead once said

without frantically downloading kids’ apps and ssshhhhing

with all the other patrons wishing we were dead


we can have more adult time

swing from the chandeliers

without the theme tune from Balamory

pissing over the romantic atmosphere


we can relax and unwind

sleep in till eleven

when the kids have grown up

well, it’ll just be pure heaven.


But as we were moving

you found one of their tiny shoes

and we sat, all misty eyed

pondering on what to do


see, If we’re honest I don’t think we ever really had much fun

till you arrived

and then your little brother arrived

my son.


we thought that our ‘baby’ days were well and truly¬†done

but now we can’t shake off the thought





another one?


and that’s how we started thinking we might want more than two

God Damn you, you tiny little shoe.




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