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Tiny New Toes: Antenatal Depression

Tiny New Toes, opening up about antenatal depression and the Seraphine Mum’s Voice Awards for Tommy’s.

 

The Seraphine  Mum’s Voice Awards for Tommy’s

Writing about the hilarity of pregnancy and parenting comes very easily to me and 90% of what I write is intended to make people laugh. However, during my second pregnancy earlier this year it became increasingly difficult to find the funny side.

No one was more surprised than me to find out I was suffering with antenatal depression.

Though I had heard lots about post natal depression – antenatal depression was not something I had heard about or foreseen. And it suddenly seemed impossible not to write about it.

I wrote a post called How to cope with antenatal depression and another about my birth trauma – which, through talking to a specialist midwife support officer, I realised was linked to my depression.

I wrote a post for Mothercare on the subject called “you’re supposed to” about the expectation that being pregnant will be the happiest time of your life.  But the best response I got was after I wrote a poem about my feelings : Tiny New Toes”.

Through these posts I connected with Tommy’s – the baby charity and also took part in their Talk to someone campaign.

Writing about my feelings so honestly was terrifying – especially without my usual jokes and punchlines – but I’m very glad I did.

I was overwhelmed to find out this week that I have been longlisted for the Tommy’s Mum’s Voice award sponsored by Seraphine.

If you have enjoyed my writing or anything I have written has helped you, you can help me get shortlisted for the Seraphine Mum’s voice award at the Tommy’s awards :

please email mumsvoice@tommys.org with Mummy’s Writing Darling in the subject title and a few words about why I should be shortlisted.

Thank you – and remember to keep on talking.

 

Tiny New Toes

Depression came a’drummin on my door.
She’s no stranger. I’ve seen her before.
I asked her in for a spot of tea,
she bounced my toddler on her knee.

you can stay for one,” I politely pressed
but I’m afraid you’ve got the wrong address,
there’s far more than cake on my expanding plate,
and I’m pretty certain you’ve got the wrong date

My two year old keeps me on my toes
and I’ve exciting news, everyone knows
makes you bundle with joy, bloom, glow, shine
we’re having a baby! In four months’ time.

we tried for this, the best part of a year
so I’m pretty certain this is a time for cheer!
our second miracle is on its way
so as I said, you truly can’t stay.”

She put down her cup and shook her head
“If that’s what you think, you’ve been misled,
I’ve a blatant disregard for all of the facts
frankly my love, I don’t give a rats

Baby or no baby, I’m here to stay
Spread the word mamma, I’m wired that way.”

Now as I sit in the dark, the dark sits in me
and I weep, as I rock my toddler on my knee

when the house is still, I wonder at it all
as tiny new toes come tapping on my inside wall.

 

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